If Mrs. Potts Was Into Techno

Unsexy products I can't live without

There’s been a trend on TikTok recently of people showing off their favorite “unsexy” products, like huge tubes of drugstore body lotion and their preferred brand of toothpaste. In that spirit, I looked around my own home for the unglamorous but deeply essential products I use almost daily. I’m being very vulnerable here!

Sperax Walking Pad
A new addition as of this week, inspired by a trend called “cozy cardio.” I accepted a few months ago that I was simply never going to be a person who enjoyed going to the gym, but I didn’t want that to keep me from getting regular exercise. I’ve been good about going on daily walks, but sometimes I don’t have time or the weather is gross, and sometimes I simply don’t want to leave my apartment. I have the walking pad set up in a weird empty space behind my couch so I can watch YouTube video essays or Sex and the City episodes while I get my steps in. The only issue so far has been how weird it is not to have handlebars. I will fall eventually, it’s just a matter of when.

Naturium Glycolic Acid Body Wash
Like many, I am plagued by little bumps on my thighs and butt. This is the best product I’ve found to smooth them out, better than the First Aid beauty version of this product, which I hated using because of how gritty it was. The Naturium body wash is gentle enough to use almost daily without leaving my skin dry. I always have a backup under the sink because I simply can’t be without it.

Method Daily Shower Spray
I get my apartment cleaned once a month because I like my apartment to be clean but have no interest in doing it myself. The very most I can bring myself to do is spray this after every show I take, and it does keep the shower fresh between cleaning appointments. I buy a huge bottle and decant it into a fancy glass sprayer to feel a little more luxe.

NeilMed Neti Pot
I’m dry and congested in the winter. I’m irritated and congested during allergy season. There are maybe three weeks in summer when I’m not congested, and then I indulge in a little horse tranquilizer on Fire Island and that’s shot to shit. I could use a nasal decongestant, but those end up drying me out even more. The neti pot is the only thing that consistently works.

Mueller Electric Kettle
Did you know that in most of the world, people heat their water up in an electric kettle, then pour it into a pot to cook pasta? Why have I spent my entire life waiting for water to boil on the stove like an idiot? My best friend bought me this kettle a few Christmases ago and I use it almost every day. She’s like if Mrs. Potts was really into techno. In the past week alone I’ve used it to heat up water for pasta, make a dirty chai, and unstop my shower drain. I am considering getting a cuter version for aesthetic reasons, but it would be hard to get rid of ol’ reliable.

Phillips Hue LED Smart Bulbs
I am morally opposed to overhead lighting, and it’s pretty nifty to control your lamps through an app. Every light in my house has one of these bulbs, although I rarely use the color options and settle for a warm ambient light. I finally figured out how to connect them to my Alexa and can turn them off with a voice command…most of them time.

Prozac
Well, yes!