Last weekend I did not leave my apartment for nearly 48 hours. I’d been planning to head upstate for the weekend but the plans fell through and, because I hadn’t made any other plans and no one knew I was in town — and it was below 20 degrees in New York City — I decided to cloister myself inside and finish a draft of my book. I loaded up on groceries, refilled my candy box, lit every candle in my apartment, and put on my indoor sweater.
My indoor sweater is the unspeakably comfortable Shelter Cotton Crewneck from Tradlands, an independent brand with great materials and inclusive sizing I started shopping from in 2022. As soon as it arrived in the mail last fall I knew I’d be living in it all winter and I wasn’t wrong. In November and December I must have worn it at least twice a week, and with each wear it only got cozier. I’d throw it on for Zoom therapy sessions, quick runs to the grocery store, movie dates, and lazy brunches. But I noticed that twice a week was becoming thrice a week, and the sweater, while just as comfortable, didn’t feel as special. Even worse, it was turning me into such a boring dresser, because when I was agonizing over what to wear on any given day it was so easy to simply throw on my black sweater that went with everything, add a pair of pants or a skirt, and call it a day.
A few weeks ago I shared my intentions for the year, and one I didn’t include was that in 2024, I want to put that shit on. I have an extensive (and expensive) wardrobe tirelessly built and carefully curated over the years, but so much of it hangs in my closet or sits in my dresser, unloved and unworn. I’m trying to think more about my wardrobe as a real collection I’ll have for decades to come and can hopefully pass on to someone someday, meaning I don’t feel bad if a season passes without me wearing a particular coat or pair of boots. I’m no longer subscribing to the rule that if you haven’t worn something in a year, you should let it go. But still, I want to use what I have, and I want to look fierce while doing it. And as much as I love my black sweater, or my black yoga pants, or my Ethel Cain hoodie, it’s far too easy to wear them every day in the winter in the name of being cool, casual, and comfortable.
With that in mind, I have created a new boundary. These pieces have become indoor clothes. I can wear them as much as I want at home, but they cannot leave my apartment. The furthest they can stray is down to the basement to grab a package, but even that is pushing it. I can wear my sweater for every video call, every lazy Saturday spent binge-watching True Detective, every 5pm scroll session in bed when I’ve reached my productivity limit for the day, and every movie night with friends over, but that’s it. That sweater is my emotional support sweater, and to maintain its magical integrity, it must stay inside — a bonus is I don’t have to worry about washing it too often. And by denying myself these items as options for daily wear outside, I’ve found a way to force myself into expanding my search to lesser-worn items in my closet, meaning my outfits are more intentional, and more put-together. I’m wearing the nicer items I spent far too much money on but never get any use out of. It honestly feels like I have a whole new wardrobe and I didn’t even have to buy anything.
I love my emotional support sweater. I’m sure you love your emotional support clothing, too. It’s so easy to think that, if our outfits are boring or uninspired, the answer is simply to buy more clothes. However, restricting certain garments to certain places or occasions can make you see your closet in a new way. I may have been wearing my cozy cotton sweater when I finally finished the first full draft of my book, but if it ever gets published I’ll be wearing something much more chic on the book tour, trust.
I want to know — what are your sneaky little tricks for getting better use of your clothes? Is there anything you’re hoping to change about your style this year?
While I’m no longer being impulsive about getting rid of things I don’t wear often, I am still being realistic about what fits into my wardrobe long-term. To that end, I am phasing some things out and selling them this weekend at the Berriez Creatives Closet Sale. I’ll be there on Saturday with lots of stuff, stop by if you’re in Brooklyn and say hi!
Funnily enough, I've been trying to do the opposite! In that there are certain clothes in my wardrobe I feel I can only wear for specific occasions - "this is a going-out-for-a-meal dress; that is a lecturing-job shirt" - and yet, when those occasions come around, I usually find myself reaching for a different piece anyway. To free myself of that restriction, I've been trying to loosen up the rules I've created around when it's appropriate to wear certain dressier pieces, and instead wear them more regularly, for less special things. Thus the everyday becomes more special or something. (I've also been trying to elevate my loungewear, because you're right - it's important to have something you feel glamorous and special in at home.)
I also have a carefully curated wardrobe but tend to wear a handful of the same things over and over (Taurus Rising). One thing I did recently was download a sobriety appt that will help me be accountable for my online shopping. I want to appreciate what I already have and know that I don’t have to constantly be attempting to “improve” myself by buying things I don’t *actually* need. It’s helped!