The beginning of a new year is a time of reflection. A time of intention. A time of self-actualization.
It’s also a time of emptying the cupboards of assorted debris you shoved in there preparing for your Christmas party. Although perhaps that one’s just me.
I like this period of annual introspection as the year changes. I know it’s fun to hate on in/out lists considering how much of a staple they’ve become, but I love seeing what people are featuring as they head into the new year, which is such a nebulous transition. Nothing is changing, but the new number at the end of the date provides us with an opportunity to reinvent ourselves.
Historically I have not been good at making resolutions and sticking to them unless they’re extremely generalized, and even then I’m iffy on follow-through. “This year I’m going to say yes more,” seemed like a great one until people started asking me to do things. It’s hard to set intentions when you don’t know what the next 365 days are going to throw at you, even if that something is just…being a person.
As we’re still slowly coming back online following the holidays and I didn’t have a firm idea of something to write about today, I’d like to share some of the things I’m feeling out for the year ahead. Maybe they’ll resonate and inspire your resolve, or maybe you’ll have some tips on how I can see them through.
Don’t look away
In the face of the seemingly unstoppable genocide happening before our eyes, it’s easy to feel jaded about your ability to make any kind of difference. But as a white Jewish person in America, I have a particular responsibility to keep using the platform I have to say unequivocally that we need a ceasefire now. Contact your representatives and do the same.
Say what you think
Through some mix of trauma, depression, and undiagnosed ADHD, I grew into a person who censored myself. Not even for big, dramatic conversations, but for everyday chitchat. For years I’ve been convinced that no one wants to hear what I have to say, and starting this newsletter was a way of pushing into — and hopefully past — that discomfort. I’m making an effort to be more active in conversations, to share without thinking it through first, and to say things even when they might be stupid, dramatic, or uncomfortable.
Only spend what you have
As previously noted in this newsletter, I have a shopping problem. I built some habits when I had a corporate job with lots of disposable income that I just never unlearned when I wasn’t making that money anymore. It became so easy to justify putting something on a credit card when I knew I’d just pay the card off in full the next time I got paid. Shop now, pay later services like Afterpay and Klarna became a big crutch when I was no longer in the same tax bracket, and now they make it easier to stomach buying something I can’t afford. I’m only paying a small amount now, who cares if I have to pay it again…and again…and again. It’s unrealistic for me to say I’m not going to shop, but I can at least commit to only making purchases when I can comfortably pay for them in full. And I’m hopeful that taking that additional time to think through if I can buy something will make me better at deciding if I should buy something.
Move your body
Ugh, a fitness resolution, how trite. Last summer I joined a gym, went regularly for about two months, and then just…stopped. I feel very insecure about working out in front of other people, but I also sold the Peloton I bought during peak lockdown, so it’s not like exercising in the privacy of my own home would solve the issue. I’m pretty much fucked from every angle. While I’d like to use the gym membership I’m still paying for, I’ve at least started taking daily walks while the sun is out for that crucial combination of endorphins and vitamin D. I’m also considering a walking pad, but that could just be another toy I never play with.
Entertain more
The thing that brought me the most quantifiable joy in 2023 was hosting at my apartment. I put so much work (with a lot of help) into creating a stylish and comfortable space that I could share with people, and in the fall I finally started to do that. Having people in my home and feeding them or cuddling up together on the couch to watch TV makes me so happy. Yes, I’m a double cancer. I want to feel in community with people in the real world, not just on the internet — even though I love this little community we’re building! This year I’m doing more dinner parties, movie screenings, and game nights — maybe I should finally get into D&D? The shoes, however, are staying at the door.
Finish your damn book
*looks guiltily at Scrivener icon*
Happy New Year, mall goths! Leave your own resolutions in the comments and tell me what kind of content you’d like to see here this year!
I've got a list of resolutions/things I want to do in 2024 and my main thing is work towards the career I actually want because late last year I was suddenly struck by the clarity of knowing what I wanted to do for the first time ever
“...I grew into a person who censored myself. Not even for big, dramatic conversations, but for everyday chitchat. For years I’ve been convinced that no one wants to hear what I have to say....” -- Oh, I really feel this one. Thanks for being tender about it. I need to be thinking about why I’m this way too. <3